My family gathered under umbrellas and a tent yesterday, and bid farewell to my grandmother who passed at the age of 95 last month. Her ashes were interred next to my grandfather in New Ipswich, New Hampshire, while the rain poured down as it has at every family funeral to date. It was a beautiful memorial where we laughed through tears and mourned our loss of someone who so deeply impacted our lives.
My mother lovingly took time to put together a memorial table at the reception to remember Virginia Emerson Palmes, the opera singer, the college graduate, mother of three, and fiercely devoted wife, with pictures of our family, a scrapbook of her life, and random scribblings and poetry my grandmother had collected along the way. As I sat at the table and went through the papers I came across a credo written by her when she was 83. My grandmother’s mind was stolen from her, inevitably stealing her from us, some 15 years ago by Alzheimer’s. She was in the earlier stages at 83 and as I read her credo for her future I learned my grandmother was a visionary. She was humble and seeking to be more merciful, more gracious, and more loving. Nowhere in the credo was there mention of her illness, never a voice of defeat or surrender; just a teachable spirit that longed to love more and finish well. She never gave in and she never gave up.
I was so impressed by her spirit to live well, to love well, and to finish well. She was 83 and she was still casting vision for the character she longed to have more of. I thought I was blessed because I loved her so much. I thought I was blessed because she loved me so much. I am more blessed because even in her passing she is teaching me about grace and mercy, about life and love, about character, and about being a woman of vision and high caliber.
I hope I continue to learn more things about her as I grow that will surprise me. I pray when I am 83 I am not waiting to die but excited and casting vision for the next season in my life. They say you can’t pick your family, and I am sure in some areas it’s a very true statement, where my Nana is involved though I couldn’t have picked better.
My grandmother was incredible and I pray as I pass from death into life I will finish well as she did with a generation behind me following the legacy she started.
