Tailored

I heard a preaching by Rick Godwin seven or eight years ago about our destiny and who we are made to be. I remember him talking about a tailored suit being worn by someone else. He spoke on how a perfectly tailored men’s suit is a good feeling. As I am a woman with no desire to wear a perfectly tailored men’s suit I related more to the second image; the design of a stealth bomber is designed to perform a specific function, so specific it doesn’t work if used as something else.

It was a life altering revelation, years later I still remember the image of a stealth bomber designed to fly through your bedroom window and drop a bomb between your eyes. It’s that specific. I’ve remembered and reflected on the suit analogy but I always came back to the bomber. I could understand the specific purpose in design but I couldn’t understand the comfort of a perfectly tailored men’s suit.

I could understand the bomber analogy and relate it to my life, because I understood I was designed for a specific purpose. I’ve always known that. Since I was a little girl there has always been something so much bigger in me longing for something so much more. It is still very much alive within me, actually so is the little girl. The men’s suit analogy was lost on me however, not because I was a woman and didn’t understand a suit’s fit; but because I didn’t understand the specific purpose. Not knowing that purpose caused me to try on a lot of different suites, which frankly just didn’t fit.

I understand it now somehow. Though I’ve still never worn a man’s perfectly tailored suit, I understand about wearing something fitted. It’s more comfortable. My purpose has always been just to be me, who I am and be comfortable in that. I was reading the amazing feedback I have received from the Chapters pieces, thinking about how I resisted writing so much before, and for what? Because I thought something was supposed to look a certain way? Because I thought I had to BE a certain way? I thought to myself, how comfortable it is, wearing your own skin even though most of this isn’t the way I thought it was going to be or how it would unfold but it is so comfortable. Being me.

Being ok with being me.

It’s a good fit and I think I wear it pretty well.