1+1=

I made a commitment when I started my job, I would only add to the environment. If I was going to put my hands to this office I was going to use them to build and not tear down. I made the determination of who I was going to be before I even started, that way no matter who the people I worked with were, I only added no matter what. There is a small cluster of our tiny team who sort of bounce off each other and to be honest, I don’t really think they are too funny or interesting. They think they are funny and are quite loud about it but to each his own, I love being able to listen to my iPod and get lost in my work.

There is someone on my team who passes a lot of judgment. They are quite witty about it and dramatic but it is what it is. We eat a lot of cake in my department. Seriously, it’s almost a weekly thing. I think I’ve only eaten it twice but there is a lot of cake. The other day it was again a reason for cake and the “funny” ones were eating cake while discussing how they shouldn’t. In the middle of this conversation the “judge” told someone they were living a sedentary life and to mind what they ate. After the banter from this argument, they pass by my desk fall into their chair and say, “whew, I’m tired.” What I wanted to respond with was, “Well, passing all that judgment can wear you out!” I kept my mouth shut but drafted an email to the girl who sits next to me and is a bit Daria with me amongst our office of Ken and Barbies.

I drafted the email telling her my response with a few lines explaining my restraint. Then I remembered and glanced at the only hot pink sticky amidst the multiple yellow ones hanging around my monitors. ALWAYS ONLY ADD. If I sent this all I was doing was stirring up an us-against-them mentality which makes me exactly part of what I don’t love about this little clique. I wasn’t looking at the good, I wasn’t building relationship, I wasn’t building respect, I wasn’t Adding anything.

I don’t have to like everyone but I do have to respect everyone. People are people and I am no greater. I have to keep the right perspective of people. If I am going to love them I need to love them even when I’d rather give into the nasty in me. Sometimes giving into that meanness feels really good or is really funny, but that’s not loving people and what if I am here on purpose? I think it’s important to remember, God wants and can use us at any moment. I think I sometimes get to comfortable and familiar with God and think he can’t use any moment, any thought, or any word to change a life. Sometimes I need to remember to get out of the way. If I’m not adding I’m in the way.

I deleted the email.