I realized tonight when I am not really seeking God on things I have nothing to write. I have been in contact and praying, going to bible college, and doing life but really seeking the "thin places" as my friend Cassidy calls it; not so much. Lame I know.
I think at some point we burn out of doing things on our own. I have been so angry lately; angry at traffic, angry at my cars, angry at myself, just angry. Today I've had enough. I am frustrated and in a funk. I had to ask myself when was the last time I got on my face and really sought the thin places on my own, just me and God?
There's been nothing of substance to write because there's been nothing fresh in my spirit. God is good but what I get at church and talking to my friends isn't enough.
It's my doing, I've been hanging on and "handling" my stuff all by myself, as if I had any control or capablity in fixing overwhelming circumstances. I can't give myself favor...tonight I'm getting on my face. I can't stay this nasty negative swamp of a person even for the rest of today.
My friend Rachael talked a bit of it out with me tonight and she said I was just in a funk and it will pass, I understand and agree. The funks or ruts come and they go but I think the greatest thing is how long will we stay in them.
Matthew Barnett, senior pastor of the Dream Center in Los Angeles, preached at Soul Central tonight and he said the "devil will love to steal your fire for long periods." It may have been only a few weeks of mounting "funk" but enough is enough and it's time to pick myself up let it go and get on with the fire of life.
At the end of the day I know where I want to go and how badly I want to get there. I have a choice, to stay here in my funk- angry moving to bitterness or I have the choice to dust off, surrender, and trade my funk for God's fire. It's up to me.
Tonight if you are finding yourself in a funk be encouraged to know we all go through them, no worries you are normal. Also be encouraged to know God wants to help you out of your funk more than you want out of it so let him help you. Tonight I was really honest with God, I told him I was so angry all the time and I didn't know why. I can't say there's been any HUGE revelation or release yet since my honest surrender of a bad attitude but here's a post and I honestly have no idea where it came from. All I can say is His grace is suffcient.
Amen.
2 comments:
What if I'm in a funk not caused by myself but by someone else? I seem to always be in a funk when someone is constantly reminding me how forgetful I am or the little stupid things I always mess up on. It might just be me but it really wouldn't get to me if it wasn't pointed out or made someone I love mad at me every other day. I ask god why am I always screwing things up but it just seems to get worse with time. I guess I will keep trying
Krystal I don't know your circumstatnces but I do know you are not a screw up and sometimes when people are critical of us and our behavior it has more to do with something going on inside of them. I have had many times in my life when I have had to realize the judgment or resistance I am getting from somone isn't about me.
However, that doesn't give license to bad behavior. You are a lovely and beautiful woman. Whatever this person is saying to you is not the truth. You just be the best you, if that's not good enough for them you have to find a way to let that go. I know it's hard but you can do it and I believe in you.
At the end of the day we will stand before our Savior and his opinion is the only one that matters or will last. we need to seek his love and his grace will lead you.
Krystal please know you are not alone. God gave you Kylina to lead her and raise her up to be a mighty and strong woman. You can do and I'm your fan. You call me up whenever you need!
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