Bridging the Gap

Man feels his emptiness. I wonder why that rings in me. It’s hanging on a sticky from my monitor. It’s not necessarily an encouraging statement, but some how it is. Maybe because it identifies something in me I haven’t known what to call before. I wonder if you have to get used to the ache of knowing you live in a broken place, never fully satisfied because you are separated from the one who made you.

It’s an interesting thought though, Man feels his emptiness. I sure do. I always have. I don’t know how to explain it, but inside there has always been something aching for something deeper. I sought in vain knowing there was something tangible about Jesus, but I felt as though I would never get there. Somehow he never relented and at 24 I finally realized what I was looking for. I am thankful for the revelation, thankful it’s me, thankful for understanding Jesus named things like emptiness within me. Emptiness is hard to describe with words, it’s just empty.

I like when things have a name. That emptiness would have an identifiable definition within my soul is comforting. I find comfort in the understanding of how and why I am how I am. It lets me know I’m not crazy and not alone. Humans are funny. As much as we struggle for individuality and to stand out in a crowd, we also desperately long to fit in and know we aren’t the only ones. Isolation is a far greater fear, for me isolation is the tangible form of emptiness. By understanding isolation I better understand emptiness. It’s the separation I feel, but the truth is there is a bridge in the gap. I allowed the gap to be bridged when I understood the sacrifice of the cross for me and in the single act of Jesus, I forever have a hope. I know one day the emptiness will be filled with the fullness of God and I have a brief time of separation.

I think looking at the words, Man feels his emptiness, allows me permission to identify it. I haven’t figured it out yet but for some reason as I learn to identify the feelings I have I can handle them better. As I give the feeling a name, like emptiness, I can compartmentalize the emotion and tell it the truth. I know it’s hard but I can control my emotions. They are valid and important, but knowing what they are allows me freedom to speak directly to it.

I appreciate growing. I am thankful for revelation. I like how words can hang from my monitor for weeks at a time just to help me identify something with in me; which then in turn allows me to hand it over to Jesus and renew my thoughts on how I feel. It replaces emptiness with fullness and fullness is why he came.