Digital

I think I may need to delete my Facebook page. I was just playing around on it when I am supposed to be spending time with God. It's been over three days and I can tell by my grouchy mood that I need to be reminded who I am and to whom I belong.

I spend a considerable amount of time on Facebook reading status and looking at pictures. I love to look at the pictures. All of them. They reveal things about my friends and teach me things that I didn't know. I love pictures though; I'm pretty passionate about them.

I don't often do any quizzes or applications, but once in awhile one will get my attention and if it gives me results that I think are worthy to share I will post them to my page. Tonight, I was stopped by one that was titled, "What Bible verse fits you best?" So I took it. My results were Matthew 22:37-38 about loving the lord your god with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself. The write up said that I abound in love and compassion, even for those who may not deserve it. I love that it brought that verse up though because my first thought is that I would find myself lacking in compassion for others.

But then I think about how much I love people. I think about the things that are deep with in me and how they sort of tear me up. I never tell anyone those parts, at least, not very often. Today I was at work and we have a waste water lake behind our building and there is a microcosm of wildlife happening back there. We have egrets, ducks, geese, turtles, and hawks. Today, said hawk was diving for food. I have always found it fascinating to watch the hawk dive into the water to catch its food. However, I have never seen it actually catch anything. A lady at work told me she saw it take a baby duck one time. Well today was my day. Said hawk was hovering over the water like a helicopter which was amazing to watch and it took its dive and came out with a rather large fish! I know it sounds silly but I felt really sad for that fish, I wished that I had not seen it get caught. I don't think that they should make movies where animals take on human roles, because those kids grow up to be people like me who almost shed a tear over what the fish must be feeling as it was suffocating in the air. The gravity of the sadness was heavy and then caused me to see all parts of life. Death is a part of it and no matter what I don't like to think about it.

Dark topic I know, and I could make it light and get a giggle out of you, but the truth is, that is what I feel on a regular basis. I get moments where my heart breaks for the violence of life and for how much I love to fight and take ground, the reality of debris that life leaves lying around me can be emotionally overwhelming at times.

But...

Maybe that is my compassion. Maybe by feeling the raw emotion of it I can pray and use it to motivate the fight in me to push forward toward truth, and justice, and the grace that surrounds us all and overflows. Maybe it can propel me to change the earth just by knowing how to pray for it. It may be those scales I was talking about before dropping off for a few moments to truly see the Father's view and hear his heart beat. The steady rhythm of all come, love all. I think I need to take the verse on and realize that it's a lifestyle not a destination. The ownership of it takes the striving out. Am I loving the Lord my God with all my heart? Probably not. Am I going to keep praying that I will? Absolutely. I am also learning to love myself which is teaching me how to love others. There is an appropriate balance there in between the two. You can't do either really well without the understanding of the other.

Cool. Good revelation. Maybe Facebook isn't that bad. It inspired some time for me to really seek out an idea about his word in my life. He'll use any means to get to my heart. I love it.